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My grandparents raised me until I was about 8 years old. I never knew who my real parents were, until the day came when my mother came and told me that she was there to pick me up. To an 8-year old kid, that’s a lot to take. As traumatic as it seems, it marked the day when I told myself that I had to be strong. That event marked my turning into an adult.

Dealing with the separation, I was determined to drown the pain by focusing on school. I realized then that the only way I can be with my grandparents and aunt is to finish school as soon as I can, get a good paying job and earn enough money to be able to go back.

At 19, I graduated from college and took a job with a pharmaceutical company. Somewhere along the way, I had temporarily put my plans on the back-burner and somehow forgot about what my mission was.

Then more painful news. My grandfather had died. In the same year, my grandmother. And adding insult to the injury, my dearest aunt died not long after.

I realized that I had failed them. My dreams died when they all died.

I go through life thinking about what I could have done differently. The pain of losing the people I cared for so much is undeniably the most horrible of all. Excruciating. I lost my direction.

Lately, I have been living a life that I never had. I am living a life that I have always wanted and dreamt of. I have met great people, great friends, made enemies, had my highs and lows. I have everything to be thankful for.

But why do I still feel empty?

I went into reclusion for almost two years.My relationships were sabotaged by my fear of total commitment which I believe is the product of losing the important people in my life.

Then at one point, something snapped. All of a sudden, I felt free. For some reason, I convinced myself that if I stayed too long in my cocoon, I’d forget that there is life waiting to be discovered out there. I just knew I had to set myself free of all my own insecurities, throw them into the wind, move on and never look back.

I live each day, believing that there are always new adventures. Life has become what I had been scared of. Unpredictable. I have always been someone who believed in calculated risks. Always anticipating the end-result. Always wanted to be sure. All of that changed.

And it couldn’t have come at a better time.

I guess it’s not too late. I’m a 35-year old guy living the life of a 25 year-old guy, wide-eyed, curious and full of anticipation and wonder.

These are my adventures....